07. Chinese Women in Saudi Arabia: Sexually Harassed Every Week, but Never Giving Up Our Place in the Workplace
Summary
Since Saudi Arabia introduced Vision 2030 in 2016 and allowed women to drive in 2018, institutional liberalization has created high-growth opportunities without removing gender constraints at the social level. When Tracy arrived in 2021, her company had only around 10 women among more than 1,000 employees; over the next 4 years, a gathering of more than 60 Chinese women her age was the first time she had seen so many peers in one place. The rules are still being written, which means business scale, visibility and career mobility can far exceed what is available in China—but this is not a market that has completed its modernization.
Women entering the Saudi market must treat sexual harassment as a real, recurring personal-safety cost, not a low-probability tail risk. Danru says she was “sexually harassed once every week”: even fully covered in an abaya, she was once taken by a driver to an abandoned construction site, where he reached toward the back seat and made obscene gestures. She moved from resisting clothing restrictions to testing boundaries in safe settings and wearing an abaya in major or unfamiliar situations—“both a form of self-protection and a compromise.”
Saudi Arabia’s harsh penalties provide deterrence, but women often go through the full sequence of shock, anger and fear before they can preserve evidence. After Danru got angry and acted as if she would call the police, the driver took her back to the hotel, refused a fare of more than 50 and repeatedly said, “I’m sorry, sister”; Tracy advises filming immediately because many harassers “have criminal intent but lack the nerve.” Their bottom line is the same: avoid remote areas, learn to drive, trust the law, and in an extreme situation stay alive first—then send the perpetrator to prison.
The more hidden and operationally consequential barrier is women’s exclusion from informal relationship networks and decision-making power. Tracy’s company of more than 1,000 people had “almost no female leaders with real authority”; when a Saudi female executive she knew attended a six-country Gulf meeting, she said, “I’m the only woman in this room.” Men can build trust quickly over shisha, sports and smoking rooms, while women are often treated as “little sisters” or potential dates rather than counterparties who can “make the decision.”
Their workplace strategy is not to deny the advantages of gender, but to refuse to let shame force them out of the competition. Tracy recalls feeling ashamed of her “gender advantage” at 20; her answer in her 30s is a “definite no”—she will not abandon work she intended to do because someone is attracted to her, though she will try to strip the relationship of its gendered undertones. Danru puts the emphasis on boundaries, principles and a strong-person mindset, while Wei Shijie adds that the only right answer is knowing what you are doing and being willing to do it. Danru directly asks potential partners to choose between a relationship and making money together, ultimately turning ambiguity into an explicit commercial partnership.
Saudi Arabia’s professional payoff comes from a market still under construction and a severe scarcity of opportunity, not from any automatic ability of Chinese companies to outclass the local market. The business Tracy took over may have been several times larger than its domestic equivalent, and she often worked until 1 or 2 a.m.; she also acknowledges that high living costs and local challenges have to be weighed together. Danru defines the payoff as “opening up a world that is completely yours.” But she also warns that daily life is “very boring”: there is no alcohol or pork, construction sites are noisy and entertainment is scarce, making personal fit more important than the story.
The shared experience of being a minority is generating mutual-aid and collaboration networks among women in Saudi Arabia. More than 60 people attended a gathering from a group of fewer than 100; the women rapidly introduced themselves, pitched projects and issued clear refusals, then continued being friends after disagreements. The directness was summarized as “girls help girls” and “sisterhood is global.” For individuals, these networks provide not just emotional support but also channels for collaboration, information-sharing and safety.
The program ultimately frames women’s rise to power as gradual compounding: secure your own goal first, then share experience and support the next woman until exceptions become institutions. Tracy says, “When you do something for yourself, you have already done something for this group”; she argues that women need not wait until they hold senior power, because everyday sharing, inspiration and a single word of support can alter another woman’s promotion path. They do not claim that having more female CEOs will automatically solve the problem, preserving only a conditional hope: once this force is large enough, “those rules that are too cruel may one day be changed.”
Deep dive
1. More Than 60 Women Turned Saudi Isolation into Network Effects
The gathering began as a group for sharing food, drink and entertainment: alcohol is banned in Saudi Arabia, leaving coffee, sports and shisha as the main options. The group had fewer than 100 members, but more than 60 showed up in person—attendance and initiative well beyond Danru’s expectations.
Tracy experienced Saudi Arabia’s early opening from 2021 onward. At the time, her company had only around 10 women among more than 1,000 employees, and getting around without a car was nearly impossible. The gathering was the first time in 4 years she had encountered a large group of women her age: “Everyone came together grain by grain to build a mountain, and flowers grew from those shared hardships.”
What Wei Shijie saw was not a cautious icebreaker but women immediately spelling out their labels, capabilities, needs and areas for collaboration. One person pitched her store; another cut in on the spot: “We’re not here to listen to this.” The value was that self-expression, rejection and continued interaction after conflict all coexisted.
2. The Reform Timeline Moved Fast; Clothing Boundaries Were Still Set by Power on the Ground
Tracy’s timeline is straightforward: Saudi Arabia introduced Vision 2030 in 2016, and women were not allowed to drive until 2018. During her first week after arriving in 2021, she went out in a skirt that reached her ankles, with only a sliver of calf showing at the back, and was still stopped by police who demanded her passport and iqama and told her, “not allowed.”
Tracy pushed back on the spot: “I’m not Muslim, and the country has opened up.” A male colleague traveling with her stopped her and instead tried to placate the police. She later came to understand that local religious norms treat the body as a private surface meant to be seen only by intimates: even a colleague who had studied in Australia immediately lowered her face onto the desk when several male workers entered the women’s office.
Between 2023 and 2024, Danru was also told by café security to change clothes because her skirt exposed part of her calf. She quietly tested the boundaries around arms, ankles, calves and leggings; Saudi colleagues explained that an abaya could make unfamiliar men “have fewer of these thoughts,” packaging restrictions on women as protection for women.
3. The Law Deters; Evidence Often Loses to the First Human Reaction
Danru describes the psychological sequence of harassment in precise terms: first comes shock, when she cannot determine what the other person intends; only after that come anger and fear. She had assumed that being assertive, modern and legally literate would be enough to protect herself, but in the moment she had to admit, “Actually, I’m not that powerful.”
Tracy says women in her community frequently report drivers touching their legs or holding their hands, showing off their mansions and inviting them home. Once outside the company, even Chinese clients may become more brazen without a corporate zero-tolerance sexual-harassment policy constraining them.
Their practical advice is to film immediately, avoid remote areas, limit conversations with unfamiliar men and drive whenever possible. They distinguish verbal harassment from sexual assault and physical contact, with the latter two treated as more serious crimes under local law and social norms. Danru describes most harassers as people who “have criminal intent but lack the nerve,” because the penalties can be severe once the police are called.
4. The Other Side of Being “Protected” Is Exclusion from the Principal’s Role
When Tracy and a male colleague were stopped by police while driving, she got out to handle the conversation but was pushed straight back into the car. The officer would explain only to her male colleague that the rear lights had been left on. Even though Tracy handled PR and was better at communication, the scene defaulted to the man as the person in charge.
Tracy observes that Saudi male executives may kindly treat women as “little sisters” while still refusing to believe they can “make the decision,” assuming there must be a male boss behind them. When she proactively asks to meet over coffee to discuss business, she is often first asked whether she is proposing a date.
A Saudi female executive friend of Tracy’s attended a six-country Gulf meeting as the only woman among the government officials: “I’m the only woman in this room.” Tracy’s former boss, who entered Saudi Arabia in its early opening, was also the only female face in meetings for years.
5. Male Social Capital Converts Directly into Power; Women Struggle to Enter the Same Pipeline
Tracy’s company of more than 1,000 employees had almost no female leaders with real authority. Expatriate women were generally younger, while women with families and established careers in China were less willing to take overseas assignments; those currently in power were men, and appointments and evaluations were shaped largely through a male perspective.
Men can settle business informally over shisha, sports or in the smoking room. Women may not share those habits and may also face male leaders’ concerns about keeping an appropriate distance. The result is not a formal system barring women from promotion; it is that the decisive relationships never form in settings women can access.
Danru questions the stereotype that attractive female reporters have an advantage. Some state-owned-enterprise executives promote familiar male subordinates because they share an interest in basketball, football or badminton; that is also the use of gendered social capital, yet it is rarely mocked. It is only when women’s advantages are given an ambiguous sexual tint that they are accused of exploiting them.
6. Recognizing Gender Advantage Does Not Mean Letting Ambiguity Take Over the Work
Wei Shijie poses the most provocative question: when a business contact sends flirtatious signals but the cooperation still needs to move forward, should a woman withdraw? Danru’s answer is that women already face structural discrimination and cannot then voluntarily abandon relationship-building work because of someone else’s assumptions.
Tracy admits that at 20 she felt ashamed of her “gender advantage,” seeing it as denial and humiliation. In her 30s, the answer is a “definite no.” She will not give up the work, but will try to pull the relationship back toward communication stripped of gendered overtones.
Danru describes women’s growth in 4 stages: needing to prove their attractiveness, knowing their attractiveness, using it, and finally becoming fully at ease with it. The thread running through the entire process is boundaries and principles—not total rejection or total exploitation.
7. A Strong-Person Mindset Means Knowing Exactly Who You Are, Not Acting Tough
Early on, Danru would place herself in the weaker position when confronted with rumors, scrambling to prove, “I’m not that kind of person.” The result was that her style, efficiency and results all suffered. A strong-person mindset means confirming that there is nothing wrong with her enthusiasm and openness while making clear that she will not develop relationships outside the work.
Danru’s approach is to “strike one decisive blow and spare yourself a hundred more.” Faced with a potential partner mixing business with flirtation, she asks directly: “Which is more attractive—the two of us developing a relationship, or the two of us making money together?”
She offers a binary choice: a relationship may end quickly, while making money can produce long-term benefits—and she will not make money alongside someone she is romantically involved with. After he chose cooperation, the two began negotiating openly and speaking without politeness; the relationship became genuinely de-gendered precisely because it was explicit.
8. “Girls Help Girls” Turns Minority Status into an Organizational Advantage
Danru believes men cooperate on the basis of interests but remain competitors. Wei Shijie says many of the female friends she made in Saudi Arabia first connected through discussions of women’s difficulties. As a minority group, women may be able to build connections across national borders for exactly that reason.
Tracy invokes the Nüshu tradition from the documentary The Whisperers: “sisterhood is global.” Women once used an almost encrypted script to share experiences of injustice; today’s gatherings, communities and experience-sharing continue the same mechanism of connection.
The network does not require everyone to be gentle or aligned: pitching proactively, refusing clearly and collaborating quickly can all coexist. What it provides is information, companionship, safety experience and opportunity, allowing a group of later arrivals to collectively reduce the hardship faced by “the first Chinese girl to go abroad.”
9. Saudi Arabia’s Career Payoff Comes from Unsettled Rules, Not an Automatic Walkover for Chinese Companies
Danru believes a country that is changing and has not yet settled into fixed rules allows outsiders more room to explore. She and Tracy were invited by Saudi media authorities to shoot a short film, originally as publicity around the Crown Prince’s visit to China. The visit was postponed and the film remains unreleased, but the opportunity itself reflected the scarcity of access.
She describes the exchange in blunt terms: 3 years of sand, no alcohol or pork, construction sites outside the home and the possibility of harassment whenever you leave the house. In return, there may be “an unprecedented experience,” or even the chance to “create a career that belongs to you.” Even without a business, simply witnessing the transformation would be “deserved.”
The business Tracy took over at a major telecommunications company may have been several times larger than its domestic equivalent. She often worked until 1 or 2 a.m., while her rate of growth also accelerated sharply. Her view is that if the experience does not require giving up too much, Saudi Arabia can add a distinctive line to a life story.
10. High Growth and High Friction Coexist; Fit Matters More Than the Story
Tracy specifically rejects the idea that “Chinese companies arrive and automatically outclass the local market.” Local challenges and high living costs are real. She left her job in early 2024 and is preparing to study public policy and energy at Columbia University, showing that Saudi Arabia can also be a period of capability-building and directional change.
When Danru recruits, many candidates speak enthusiastically about the Middle East, but reconsider and decline when it is time to actually go. By contrast, none of the Riyadh women she knows regrets coming to the country. The hardest step is often taking the first one, not dealing with any single event after arrival.
She also deliberately cools the hot-blooded narrative: daily life in Saudi Arabia is “very boring,” with little entertainment or information. People who demand a high quality of life and constant external stimulation may face a major letdown; many Chinese men want to return home simply because they are bored.
If she were choosing again, Danru might select a warmer, more tolerant and open place such as South America as her first overseas assignment. Saudi Arabia is better suited to people who do not depend heavily on entertainment, are willing to organize their own lives and can tolerate high friction in exchange for a scarce experience.
11. Dating Became Danru’s Cultural Research—and Exposed a Double Standard in Public Opinion
Soon after arriving in Saudi Arabia, Danru downloaded Tinder to meet locals, learn taboos and practice English, but was banned as a robot after entering the image CAPTCHA incorrectly 3 times. She continued proactively inviting men of different nationalities for coffee, treating relationships as an entry point for understanding culture.
After she shared a conversation about emotions with a Muslim man on Jike, it was reposted more than 100 times, along with insults such as “easy girl.” She realized that mainstream opinion strongly condemns Chinese women who proactively date foreigners; she believes it may not be controversial in Europe or the United States but can be far more taboo in Muslim cultures.
Danru later made the terms of a relationship with a local boyfriend explicit: the relationship was “for the purpose of being in a relationship, not for the purpose of an outcome,” and he also helped her work. She still plans to travel to North Africa or South America and meet people from different countries: “There is no one in this world who can stop me from doing this.”
12. Women’s Rise to Power Is Not a Slogan but Institutional Change Built from Individual Actions
Tracy cites a film that may have been titled The Song of the Brave: only after an American female swimmer crossed the English Channel did society gradually recognize women’s athletic ability. She does not know what kind of flowers women’s power will ultimately produce, but believes one person’s breakthrough opens the road for those who follow.
Danru refers to a history of the first female undergraduates at Yale: institutional change requires individuals to keep fighting, but in real life not everyone needs to chant slogans. Sharing experience, inspiring people nearby and securing one’s next position are all actions that can be repeated every day.
Danru further argues that a female leader supporting a female subordinate is not necessarily favoritism. When there is no meaningful difference in ability, a single sentence or one act of support may compensate for accumulated disadvantages. Power grows through many “small advances,” not by waiting until someone reaches the top job to begin.
13. Women’s Rise to Power Is Not a Slogan but Institutional Change Built from Individual Actions
Wei Shijie stresses that feminism is not the same as opposition between the sexes; men can also be harmed by patriarchal structures. Danru’s position is sharper: when women tell their own stories, they have no obligation to prove that they are “not attacking you.” The narrative is “neither confrontation, nor opposition, nor reconciliation”; women themselves are simply the protagonists.
Tracy argues that women do not need to wait until they hold senior power to create change. Sharing experience, inspiring people nearby and offering a single word of support can all alter another woman’s promotion path.
Danru says that when a woman secures her own next position, she is also widening the path for those who follow. Institutional change is built through repeated individual actions rather than slogans.
Their hope remains conditional rather than absolute: once this collective force becomes large enough, “those rules that are too cruel may one day be changed.”